In between the yellow chairs that were sprawled out awkwardly on the kitchen linoleum was our friend Peter. He had been lying upon the floor for some time now. Waiting. Listlessly. Patiently. However, anxious moments seized him with sudden spasms of excitement. With fondness he rewound his thoughts to yesteryear's when rising from his bed was not an accomplishment and cooking was fun to do and not a means of survival. Armed with spatula and mixing bowl he was known to create the finest baked goods to be consumed. Favorites like Peter's Pumpkin Patches, large orange cookies with scenes of hooting owls and clambering zombies delicately placed upon their centers, propelled him to the epicenter of the culinary world. But he fell lame with indifference after a tragic love affair with a temptress and lovely eccentric named Janice. Janice, lovely Janice. Yes she was a firecracker. And it was not just her orange mane, that fireball of a dome God gave her for a head that was unique about her. Janice's most endearing quality was her soft kindness which seeped into Peter Pan's childlike heart and left him defenseless. What could one do with a woman who never argued yet simply resigned herself to smiles and large caresses of ones forearms with her giant hands. Nothing. That's what. Crawl up into the fetal position and hope for the best. But Janice was a delicate being who never intended on harming a soul yet she could not stay still. Her love affair with two lane highways was destroying Peter's tolerance and on Halloween he dumped Janice in one of the shadiest Carrow's in East Los Angeles. Peter continued his reasoning for ending the relationship as Janice began sobbing uncontrollably through small bites of her pancakes. He eventually had to stop due to her choking because she refused to quit eating, thinking it was wise to do something, anything to keep from running away. So she kept chewing, staring solidly at her diminishing 10:43 pm breakfast. Since Peter was poor at planning and preemptive striking, forgetting how uncomfortable a quite ride alone together would be and that he should have brought her roller skates for her to glide home on, the now deceased couple drove along in painful silence. Eventually the strain became too much for Janice as she leaped out of the car at a rolling stop. Upon stumbling to the ground Janice was struck by a bicyclist riding a heavy Schwinn, the Panzer Tank of the cycle world. Janice's leg was broken in three places as the rider B-lined towards her while she lay sprawled out on the pavement. This experience was heavy enough to separate Peter from Janice and visits to her hospital room were unwelcome. Soon Peter found himself alone, growing fat by eating large quantities of cookie dough and skittles.